Lent

Lent is coming at an interesting time for me. Some old and chronic wounds have been freshly felt again, and with them various layers of fear and shame and judgment. Perhaps I will fast from trying to change those things, trying to get over them as quickly as possible or to pretend that I have, trying to protect other people from them, and being ashamed when I fail. Such efforts prop up the false self; they don’t foster the development of the true self, the one God knows.

Instead:

I will be online one hour or less each day (except for Spanish lessons, during which I will have no other tabs open). If I need to use the computer to write a blog post or an email, I will do so offline and publish / send during my online time.

I will accept all feelings with mindfulness, neither pushing any away nor clinging to any.

I will embrace all of myself, even the parts I don’t like.

I will remember Jesus, and that I have no longer any need to fear.

I will be open to gratitude.

I will show up for my life and not be ashamed.

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7 thoughts on “Lent

  1. Best of luck to you. I am trying to up my transparency and deal with some ongoing wounds around here (to borrow your apt term), I am not sure how that will go, or how allocate time to do that, but it is a hope regardless. Thankful for your honesty and transparency.

    • The very night I posted this, I was kept awake all night long with panic attacks. Fear and shame and judgment, coupled with old wounds, are such very powerful enemies. Sometimes so visceral — like almost puking. Blessings on your increasing openness — however painful it may be (may it not be), may it be fruitful.

  2. Pingback: Storm | Becoming Three

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