1. So, on the one hand, I want to trust people, such as my daughter. On the other hand, I don’t want to be gullible or susceptible to deception or manipulation.
It is not always easy to know when to err on which side.
I thought I had a lot more to say about this than that, but that seems to be the issue in a nutshell. I guess it’s also about figuring out what it really means to respect people (including Amy) and to try to always view and act with compassion. I occasionally find inspiration and conviction and encouragement from Karyn Van Der Zwet, Janet Lansbury, Laura Grace Weldon, Teacher Tom, and Amy’s teachers and other Montessorians, to name a few.
(Ah, here’s one — Amy has to pee (after bedtime) at exactly the same time she hears Mark turn off the TV and head to bed? Or hears anything else interesting?)
I will add that I’m thinking partly (and only partly, although I can’t think of the other things that have triggered this thought) about the article someone linked recently, about a school ruling that kids would have to stay after school to make up missed class time if they went to the bathroom during class hours (vs. between classes) more than three times in a day. Yeah, some kids are going to use the bathroom to waste time. But it seems better to trust that in general, kids are going to use the bathroom because they have to pee. And it makes one think, how can we improve the environment so that wasting time is less appealing, and so that using the bathroom is less disruptive.
2. Also? Words are seriously powerful.
The church we have been attending most recently, and feel like we are likely to keep attending, has been experiencing enough increase in numbers that they have developed an expansion plan. They are, properly respectfully, making a good effort to get feedback from the congregation before going forward.
In response to a number of people being concerned that getting bigger will negatively impact the relational atmosphere of the church, the pastor said something very much like “We don’t want to stunt what God is doing here just because we want to be comfortable.” And I really understand and respect his point.
On the other hand, wow, what a loaded statement! Consider if someone else had said, for example, “We don’t want to risk losing our most valuable asset just because we want more warm bodies to count.” Same loadedness, in the opposite direction.
3. Speaking of church, three times in the last two months, marshmallows have been part of snack in Sunday School. Yeah, that’s only three times in the last two months, and they’ve been served with something else (goldfish once, graham crackers another time). And it’s not going to kill anyone.
And yet, I find myself cursing the invention of packaged crackers and candies and convenience foods in general. It would be easier to wash some grapes or slice some carrots than it would be to make candy or crackers from scratch. And that’s the way it used to be, and that’s why people ate more grapes and carrots than candy and crackers.
And yes, I’ve thought about offering to bring in some snacks, or talking to the people in charge, and… while I feel strongly enough to want to vent about the issue, I’m a little reluctant to be the insufferable activist. I might anyway. I hope I can do so in the least offensive way possible.