Confidence

I will strive to have confidence (faith, trust, hope…) in Amy.

Even when it looks like she is trying to poke the cat’s eyes out or has the cat cornered or is laughing as she chases the cat all around a room and blocks her escape routes or steps on the cat’s tail when I say “no” about something.

Even when, a thousand times a minute, she says, “Let’s do x, do it this way, come do this now, would you like to x, are you ready to x now, when will you be able to x, it’s time to x now, do it this way” to Grandma, her friend, me, or anyone else. (Because I already see that her bossing and demanding are taking on more polite forms. I suppose that IS progress.)

Even when she says nasty things, makes nasty faces, acts like our peer (in terms of authority), yells and screams and fusses and hits and kicks.

Even when she repeats yet another “Mmm-hmm” very politely or changes the subject when I am trying to Discuss something with her.

Even when I am tempted to despair of any change, any sinking in, any empathy development, any respect for friends, cats, and other Others.

Especially when I see her wait patiently for me to dip my chip in the salsa before she reaches for her own chip.

Especially when I see her make presents for friends, friends’ moms, grandparents, teachers, and, most recently, the librarian.

Especially when I overhear her playing with dolls, using things I’ve Discussed with her.

Especially when she cries because she didn’t get a chance to say goodnight to Daddy.

Especially when she still looks at me warmly and rejoices in a cuddle.

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