D S T

D = Daughter

If you think I have an intense need to know, if you think I have a hard time accepting reality graciously, if you think I’m high-maintenance in all sorts of ways, you should meet my daughter.

“Why is that?” “But I want to” “But I need you to” “Oh, sure, you may, you can do that” (there’s something rather grating about being given permission by a preschooler) “WAAAAILLLLLLL!” (wanting to open the door but people outside the restaurant opened it first) “NO!” “I’m afraid I can’t” “I’m not going to be able to” “I can’t do it” “I can’t do anything” “It WON’T WORK” “I’m never going to come out of my room” “I’m NEVER going to feel better” “[insert every possible counterargument to every possible suggestion you might make here]”

She gets angry when she gets caught in a lie or in other misbehavior. When she has to switch gears — time to clean up, time to get ready for bed, or just having to let go of something she wants / wants to do but can’t right now — she often makes her trouble worse until we’re nearly at wits’ end how to respond in a way that will help without caving. And by then we’re just as angry as she is and don’t really want to help — we just want to put an end to the situation, and, frankly, we want to win.

I want to work at adopting the ideas from the books I’ve found so helpful theoretically, and see how well they might work practically. Clearly what we’ve been doing isn’t the most effective for helping us or her. (Not that it’s always out of control around here… I’m just not currently writing about all the things that are wonderful, charming, smooth, pleasant, impressive, and so on. There are many, and I treasure them, and why am I feeling the need to defend myself? …I tend to write as a way of processing, and negative things generally need more processing…)

If my daughter has a hard time letting go of her angry willfulness even in the face of unpleasant consequences, you should meet me — especially when I’m trying to deal with her.

S = Sinus

Please turn off the hose in my left sinus. Thank you very much.

T = Thanks!

Thank you to Mark and his parents for the garden broadfork — can’t wait to try it out. And thank you to my parents for money which so far has purchased new garden fencing and posts — hoping to do a sturdier job of the fence this year, and hoping the 1” poultry mesh will keep those bunnies out.

And to the many friends and family members who sent happy birthday wishes via Facebook, email, and phone.

And to Mark and Amy for the Texas sheet cake and a nice dinner out, even though Amy mostly ate French fries.

———

I refuse to think about Daylight Saving Time until the morning. So I’m not really up THAT late.

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