K is for…

Keeping quiet:

1) In high school, every so often I attempted to take a vow of silence. It never worked. I definitely have that tendency to say too much, say it wrong, say it at the wrong time, to the wrong person, and otherwise put my foot in my mouth.

2) Amy adores my exercise teacher, Shaina, with great devotion.

Twice now, as we’ve run into her at the dining hall or before or after class, I’ve felt the need to clarify that the adoration is not something I’ve instilled, not my way of indirectly stalking her, and that if Amy bothered her, I would tighten the reins a bit.

Similar things have happened with other objects of Amy’s adoration.

And I need to learn to keep quiet.

No, I don’t want to be one of those parents who can’t imagine that anyone wouldn’t want my darling hanging all over them, but I also don’t want to be one of those parents who automatically assumes no one would want my offspring hanging all over them.

I should allow Amy her adorations, allow her the expression of them, and trust the objects, who are adults and usually parents themselves, to speak to me if it becomes bothersome.

I should trust my own intuition about reading these people’s reactions, as well — but I have a hard time with that. I know how possible it is to be very convincingly polite without it being sincere. And that voice that criticizes me and everything that’s mine, including Amy, tries to convince me that everyone is just being polite.

So I will keep trying to keep quiet, and take things at face value, not take on the whole job of reading minds.

3) We got home later than usual this afternoon, so I told Amy that it was a no-book quiet / nap time. A little later, I heard something, and reminded her “no toys.” I kept hearing things, but it was stuffed animals, not other toys. I hemmed and hawed — I don’t have a problem with her having an animal or three to sleep with, but I think this was full on playing, not even remotely sleeplike. I was getting increasingly annoyed. It was almost time for quiet / nap time to be over, and she wasn’t asleep yet. Do I wait and let her fall asleep too close to bedtime, or do I wait and get even more annoyed as she continues to not sleep, do I go in and tell her to sleep or to put away the animals, or what?

I kept quiet.

And at the end time, I told her she could come out. At first, she was excited. Then, she said, somewhat thoughtfully, “I didn’t have a very good nap.” And we had a little talk about the difference between playing with animals and having a few to sleep with.

I’m glad I kept quiet and didn’t charge in with my annoyance.

4) There’s a verse in 1 Peter that says women should have a gentle and quiet spirit. That verse usually irks me, and occasionally makes me wistful. But either way, I think I’m usually misinterpreting it. What it especially doesn’t mean, is that women shouldn’t talk about things they find important or interesting, or shouldn’t ask for things or want things. Check out a friend’s posting on this verse for more.


4 thoughts on “K is for…

  1. That was something I was unable todo as a child at school…..Keeping quiet.
    Many the time I was sent to the principal and had detention.

    Loved your post and subject.


  2. Sounds like you’re a very patient person. I wish I was so patient, or at lease felt patient. I find myself biting my tongue a little too often. I’m afraid I’ll say something I’ll regret – which is usually what happens if I don’t take a step back and contemplate first. If I just blurt out my feelings, they’ll come out all wrong. I can totally relate to what you’re saying.

  3. I don’t think I’m very patient — but I feel the weight of the importance of patience, and I guess that’s helped me gradually get more patient.

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