Sometimes I am bothered

Sometimes I am bothered. Sometimes I am not.

Either way, I wonder why?

When nothing is really different in my life, what provokes being bothered at one time and not at another time?

When I’m unbothered, I wonder if I am in denial, or complacent, selfish, forgetting God, really seeing how wonderful my life really is, or just content and living by faith.

When I’m bothered, I wonder if I am premenstrual, or about to fall into the pit of depression, or really seeing how miserable my life really is, lacking faith, falling into idolatry or selfishness, etc.

I’m so funny — I can find something to worry about no matter what the situation.

Being bothered sometimes and unbothered sometimes tells me:

a) This too will pass, whichever it is — being bothered and being unbothered happen and ebb and flow.

b) The heart is deceitful, and there are innumerable influences besides reason. Not that the heart is all evil — just unreliable.

c) Being bothered and being unbothered can both be occasions to repent and seek God, to remember his goodness and trust in him.


5 thoughts on “Sometimes I am bothered

  1. Okay, this may totally be too much information, but I am the same way and it is ALWAYS hormonal for me. I have PMDD and get PMS for at least a week before my period, sometimes ten days. Also, this can happen when I ovulate too, so two weeks out of every month, things bother me WAY more than the other two weeks.

    Not saying that’s the source of your ‘bothers’ but it may very well be! 🙂

  2. There are soooo many things that affect how we feel – emotional/mental, physiological, spiritual, social. It really is complicated to figure it out at first. But over time, with some observation, one can do that. I think in other postings you’ve referred to having done this, i.e., recognized things that cause you to feel afraid. I may take some work at it, but it’s worth it.

  3. Missy — I hadn’t thought about ovulation, but I’ll have to observe that, too. I remember being so much more comfortable with myself and less bothered when I was pregnant.

    Rick — There is certainly a lot of work that can be done for more information, but there’s also limits to how much you can know about a moment’s mood.

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