Yesterday afternoon Mark and I went to see the psychiatric nurse practitioner. We liked her a lot — she was very patient, compassionate, asked good questions, was understanding, etc. She is increasing the Zoloft to the standard dose (I’ve been on half a dose), and refilling the Ativan. And we’ll check in again in two weeks.
Later that afternoon I had my second appointment with the second psychotherapist. And by the end we both felt it wasn’t a great match. He’s better than the first guy was, but he’s too cerebral, too talkative (and telling me things that I already know), and I don’t think his techniques and methodology will work with my temperament and such. He seems to think it’s possible to change your thoughts willfully, and thereby change your feelings — I’m not sure he even believes in the subconscious. For example, he suggested taking one untrue thought habit I want to change, and writing down and then reading the true statement 100 times each day for weeks. That doesn’t seem to be a good technique for someone who already has obsessional thought patterns and is too willful and perfectionistic.
We’ve decided that instead of continuing to therapist-shop, which costs time and money and requires me and the therapist to spend a lot of time building a history, to have me “see” my old therapist from Richmond, Joe, by phone. He already knows me and my history, and I already know and trust him and his methods. So today I will call him and ask if he has room in his schedule for me.