Where the wild things are

Do you have this book, or do you remember it?

I don’t know if I like it or disapprove of it.

On the one hand, the kid is punished, and instead of meekly accepting his punishment, thinking about what he did, repenting, having a change of heart, etc, he gets to go off to fantasyland, assert his continuing power, punish others (who did nothing wrong), and then still get his dinner.

On the other hand, the kid’s ego strength is not harmed by a stupid punishment (sent to bed without dinner? food shouldn’t be used for punishment). And he returns home because he knows it’s where he is loved best of all.

I certainly don’t want any discipline we do with Amy to break her spirit, merely conform her to our wills; in that sense I want to be protective of her ego, her wholeness of self.

But I do want her to learn what it means to recognize bad choices, regret them, aim to choose better next time, understand repentance and forgiveness, etc.

Thoughts?

Ten Commandments, by Karl

An elder at my previous church is the director of a Christian study center (Ithaca is a college town) named after G. K. Chesterton. His blog recently included this little piece about the Ten Commandments.

What to eat

When I first thumbed through Nourishing Traditions at my in-laws’ house, its basic messages really rang true for me: what we eat should be as un-processed as possible, natural, whole, slow, all that sort of thing. Meat from an animal that lived a healthy life eating what it was meant to eat. Plants that haven’t been modified or sprayed with poisons. Sugars from fruit, honey, maple syrup. The lack of evidence for the “fact” that saturated fat and heart attacks are linked. Stuff like that.

Nourishing Traditions is rather strident in its tone, though, and unforgiving and uncompromising. That kind of attitude can make it hard to take its suggestions (commands) seriously.

I just came across this book review, and I’d like to borrow or buy the two books mentioned (In Defense of Food and The Omnivore’s Dilemma, both by Michael Pollan) — they seem a bit more of a moderate approach, arriving at similar conclusions.

The author also has this interesting post on food and finance. I would love to someday be able to buy most of our food at farmers markets and that sort of thing. Mark doesn’t really care whether he eats a block of Kraft cheese or a piece of cheddar from the fancy (real) cheese section, a loaf of store brand bread or an artisan loaf from the bakery, but I drool over such choices. (Am I a snob? or have more taste buds? or does my brain just tell me I have these preferences because of what I believe about food?)

It drives me nuts that eating well can cost so much more than eating fairly or poorly.

Book a minute and in five seconds

Like books or movies? Barbara links to two fun parody-synopsis sites.

Evil song: So Long Self

I was coming home from some shopping (mainly trying (vainly) to find fabric for a dress, at Jo-Ann’s) and had a local Christian radio station on. I’m not terribly fond of the genre — there’s lots of mediocre music and words out there — but sometimes there’s something good, and it’s good to be reminded of the Gospel in any ways and times.

I was listening to one song but not really paying attention, and then realized it sounded like a break-up song — “I’ve found somebody else” — but it took me a while to figure out who the singer was saying goodbye to.

Then I realized he was saying “so long, self.”

How vile.

It’s one thing to recognize when self is trying to run the show, to its own detriment and that of others — but to even want to stop having a self is, well, evil.

God gave us selves. He did not, does not intend for us to give them up, to become empty clones or robots. When he comes into our lives, when we are regenerated, when we receive the Holy Spirit, it is not like being possessed, it’s not like being obliterated, becoming merely a puppet animated entirely by him. It is the adoption as sons and daughters — it is relationship, and relationship requires more than one person, more than one self.

Humph to Mercy Me for this ugly song.

Read the rest of the lyrics if you really want to.

The Awakening

Barbara writes about an article about a woman who wrote a book about why she regrets having had children.

It reminds me of that novel — Kate Chopin, was it? — The Awakening. I hated it when I first read it. But I don’t hate it quite so much as I did then.

I can understand how a woman might feel obliterated by the expectation of giving up everything to bear and raise children.

I can understand how other women might feel shocked at anyone being so selfish as to regret having kids.

How neatly this fits into my little sub-healthy / healthy / super-healthy theory (here and here.) That the same behavior can be rooted in very different psychological places.

One person might give up everything for her kids because she feels she is nothing except a mother. Another person might give up a lot — not everything — for her kids because she has a secure enough sense of self to manage sacrifice and recovery. Someone else might give up on the kids because, in her psychological state, she is unable to care for them and for herself at the same time.

Not all selfishness is bad, depending on how you define it. It is good and proper and even holy to desire to be the self that God has created us to be, instead of a doormat or robot. It is wrong to set this desire against all other responsibilities, as if self is the only thing that matters.

Balance!

Or, in the words of E. M. Forster from Howards End, “Only connect!”