1. This new bedtime routine is going very well. Mark was wondering when the last time was that she woke in the middle of the night.
2. Yesterday, I think it was all three earlier naps that Amy went down without a peep. This morning’s first nap happened that way, too.
3. Someone is coming to see the house today.
4. Amy and I are going to DeeDee’s for lunch during the showing.
5. Mark has a pot of chicken stock simmering on the stove and it smells so good.
6. I redesigned the DBT diary card in a format that I think will work for me. I have columns for significant events, emotions grouped in four broad categories (good, fear, anger, depression), and urges grouped in four (to cry, to be aggressive, to withdraw / minimize myself, and other). Each day has seven spaces for events. I’m using check, check-minus, and check-plus to rate the intensity of the emotions and urges, and starring urges that I act on. The boxes are big enough that I can write in any more specific emotion words I might need, like “guilt” or “grief.” Four days fit on a page, so two pages in a binder can show one week at once.
1. This morning I had oatmeal with pecans, butter, and maple syrup. Mmmmm.
2. Amy had a pretty good day yesterday — reasonable naps without too much fussing, nice awake times.
3. Twice when she was fussy I was able to pick her up and hold her, which seems to be what she wanted, because it calmed her down. It’s sort of nice to think that she might sometimes want me to cuddle her.
4. Netflix. Last night’s flick was a set of Starblazers episodes. I love this show, although I don’t remember watching it when I was little. I love the absurd and ridiculous names of weapons, plot details, and so on. I love the beautiful hand-drawn animation and some of the music is good and some silly and both are enjoyable.
5. Sarah W. from church has invited me and Amy for tea this afternoon, which is nice since it breaks up today’s emptiness.
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1. It is almost 1 pm, and I have already done two of my goals: I have a pot of spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove, and I have tuned Cs, C#s, and Ds on my hammered dulcimer.
2. It has been a rough morning, but after my initial groggy and sad-about-sleep-loss waking, I’ve been pretty patient and compassionate towards fussy Amy.
3. She has been napping for a little over an hour.
4. Our date last night was nice; Bill and Dawn enjoyed having Amy even though she had some fussy times.
5. Dreams; even odd ones like last night’s that feel unfinished and that leave me with just glimpses of significant oddities and events without awareness of what the significance is.
1. Amy is quiet at the moment, and so is Mark.
2. Doing that prompting event worksheet helped.
3. We have a date tomorrow night and folks from church are babysitting.
4. Mark and Amy played his keyboard this morning.
5. I finished one sewing project and started another.
1. I got to sew the zipper into one of my sewing projects.
2. I was just starting to eat lunch when Amy woke up, but she was content to sit in my lap long enough that I got to finish eating before changing and feeding her.
3. Last night I tried sleeping with earplugs, in hopes that when Mark rejoins me I’ll be able to sleep without the noise machine. It was odd, and at one point I had to pull them out partway, but I slept with them in.
4. One person has come to look at our house and is coming back with her husband for a second look, and a few other people have appointments to see it, too.
5. Last night Amy had been awake for two hours before her bath, which is on the long side for her awake times. I expected a loud protest throughout the bath, but she was fine for most of it, even splashing her hands in the water a little. Also, Mark was able to do most of the bath by himself; it’s good for each of us to get to where we can bathe her without help.
Our DBT homework for the week includes a daily gratitude list of at least five items.
- I made French toast this morning and it was very good.
- I went to the DMV to renew my license and there was no line at all.
- I’ve ironed two pieces of fabric for a sewing project.
- Mark is taking a break to be with Amy, which might help me recover from this attack of frustration that’s hit today.
- I managed to make and eat some lunch despite that attack.
I did my business taxes today.
We did a lot of things today to get our house ready to sell. We just need to clean the main bathroom, dust, and vacuum, so it ought to be listed maybe this week.
I was cheerful a good bit of today; sun and a bit of warmth helped, and so did choir, and so did having Mark around.
I made excellent grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and fried rice for dinner.
I gave Amy a bath and washed her laundry as well as the new fabric I bought yesterday for some sewing projects.
Amy slept well last night, lying in her crib for the first time without the Moses basket.
Mark loves me.
The kitty loves me.
Amy might love me too.
