Today’s molehill

Playgroup today was just three of us moms and four kids. At the end we discussed the option of lunch at the dining hall, agreed we all planned to go there, and drove off.

I got there first, somehow, and parked Amy in her booster seat, got in line to get food, saw one of the other ladies and said hi, returned with food to find Amy still alone and the other lady sitting elsewhere. Huh. Maybe she didn’t see Amy, or maybe she hadn’t planned on eating together. Never saw the other one at all — maybe she was hanging out in her husband’s office first.

So how many of you would blow it all off and think nothing of it?

And how many of you, like me, add it to a long list of subtle signals, wondering if the whole list (not just this one occurrence) should be a clue that these ladies don’t really like me that much?

Because no one ever comes right out and says “I don’t like you.”

I used to be bad at social cues in the sense that I’d assume everyone liked me — now I’m bad at them in the other direction, very careful not to assume anyone likes me. I think both approaches are pretty unhelpful — people don’t like being around snobs OR whiners. And yet here I am.

Does it even matter whether people like me or not?

Maybe for some things… people who I let into my innermost self should like me. People I go to playgroup with, maybe it doesn’t matter.

I certainly need to be out and around people, so I suppose I will continue going to playgroup, and if they don’t like me, too bad (for them AND for me).

Just wish I had at least one or two other real friends who really like me and want to be with me and know me and for me to know them. And who are available and accessible.