Amy has been starting to throw and sort things.
Throws are usually pretty low to the ground, often behind her, sometimes to the side.
She picks things out of a container one at a time or else shakes / dumps them out. And she puts them back in, one at a time, somewhat violently sometimes, and with minimal aim. Or puts them all together on the floor or on a couch cushion.
She’s not doing any harm, and she’s certainly developing and enjoying new skills.
But what about when she throws the food on the floor, or sorts it from her bowl to her lap? Or what about when she throws things that are hard and might hurt someone if someone were there?
According to what I remember from child psychology, she’s still in the stage where she has no concept of considering another person’s point of view. So is it impossible for her to understand that she must look before she throws, or not throw hard things? Does it make more sense for me to protect other people (and myself) from her instead of expecting her to protect others from herself?
One of my books says to end a meal as soon as she starts playing instead of eating. Seems to me like this would end a lot of meals after only one or two bites. Is that fair? Is it effective? Would she learn quickly enough that mealtimes are for eating and not playing, so that we could get back to feeding her as much as she wants?
Or is it okay or better to continue like we do: tell her “no” (as calmly as we can) when she puts food where it doesn’t belong, reminding her that food goes “in your mouth or on the tray”; if she’s playing with the food or stuffing her face with more than she can handle, we take the bowl away and offer her bits at a time, either on the tray for her to grab or on a spoon; if she gets her hands in the way of the spoon, we sometimes see if she wants to try holding the spoon, sometimes tell her “this is spoon food, not finger food,” and sometimes offer her something else that she can grab.
What do y’all think?
It is so great to see them start to interact with things on a grander scale, such as sorting. I enjoy watching all the concentration that goes into it.
Blake use to put food onto the floor, still does at times, when he gets full. We just gather our firm voice and explain to Blake that this is unacceptable behavior and it tends to stop. If it doesn’t the food is automatically taken away, mostly because he only does this because he is no longer interested in eating and has had a few good bites.
I’m not sure why but Blake has only ever thrown balls. Perhaps because we have “trained” him to do so and he realizes that other toys are meant to be played with in different ways. I guess maybe if she throws something that is hard explain to her that it oould hurt someone and replace the object with something soft and explain to her that this is okay because it will not break or hurt anything. To answer your question if it is impossible to understand this concept at her age, I would say no, just based on my own experience. It just takes some time is all.
Oh no no, I wouldn’t end meal times, at least not right away, if she gets distracted. Blake still to this day gets distracted and will goof off. You mostly have to go with your gut, but I would try to get her attention again with the food and drink…at least a few more times, of course never forcing though. And if after two or three more attempts and no success, then she is basically telling you maybe that she is just not wanting food right now. When they are hungry they tend to eat. And at this age just at least two or three bites of each thing is sufficient. If she skips a meal on her own terms, maybe it will help her body to realize that she is hungry later on and actually eat at her next meal time without the hoopla.
I think your last paragraph on what you are doing is perfect. I was reading one paragraph at a time and didnt see that one till now. But yes, I’d keep up with what you are already doing. I like how your no’s are followed by explanations and that you talk with her. I’d keep it calm, but firm…a completely different tone so she knows.
Comment by Sandra — October 5, 2007 @ 11:11 pm
Thanks for your thoughts! Anyone else?
Comment by Marcy — October 6, 2007 @ 8:47 am
I was in a bit of a hurry earlier — I should add that I’m with you on how fascinating it is to watch her interactions get more sophisticated. What she finds interesting and what she chooses to do are fun to watch.
I don’t think we’ve actually thrown things that aren’t balls, but we have rolled them and spun them and shot them across the floor. Perhaps, as one of Mark’s colleagues pointed out, she might just lack the eye-hand coordination to roll, spin, and shoot things instead of tossing them.
Comment by Marcy — October 6, 2007 @ 3:35 pm
I know I’m extremely relaxed in this area, but I don’t know if I even said “No” to it but so often. It’s just gonna happen! LOL! and Hazel grew out of throwing it off the tray~although she does slide it onto her tray now. I also have to say that for the most part, she is done eating when she does that. However, she will sit another two minutes~just enough time to get one more little thing done! LOL! We are at the stage where I cannot get ANYTHING done! ANYTHING! She is ALWAYS on my hip and wanting attention. I wish I really could just sit and watch her antics all day….(((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by titus2woman — October 9, 2007 @ 10:07 am
Sandi,
Your kids were so well-mannered when I visited; good to know you can be relaxed about things and still get good manners.
Is Hazel too big or too impatient for the sling?
Comment by Marcy — October 9, 2007 @ 11:03 am
I remember still carrying Allen and Preston around at this age, but while Hazel still wants to be held she does not want any part of the sling or backpack. Today I am actually *very* sore from it~LOL!
I’m so happy to get well-mannered child compliments, because I truly STINK at discipline! I hate it~it makes me weary in the journey, though I know it is very, very important. ((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by titus2woman — October 9, 2007 @ 12:21 pm