Here’s an interview meme. Feel free to participate, following these rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview Me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
And now, Thordora’s questions.
1. Tell me about why you believe in God. What led you to your belief.
A couple years ago I wrote a post that makes a good long answer to this question.
The short answer:
I grew up going to church and Sunday School. I considered it like regular school — stuff to learn, teachers to please, peers to be disliked by. In middle school, the youth group started studying a little deeper, particularly focusing on the idea that Jesus is a living person who cares about me and wants me to be in relationship with him. I talked to a bunch of people over the year, read the Bible on my own and with others, and prayed.
The things that appealed to me were unconditional, constant, all-knowing and understanding love, trustworthiness, faithfulness, solid ground. In some ways it felt like taking my faith to the next level, and in other ways it felt like God doing something completely new in me.
I continue to believe in God, the Christian God in particular, because to me it’s the theory that best fits the facts. It makes sense of all the darkness in the world as well as all the light. It makes sense of my own darkness and my own dignity. It lets me be a self but also provides something much bigger than myself, and a relationship that connects the two in a meaningful way.
I better quit before this short answer gets as long as the long one!
2. After your experiences with PPD, will you have any more kids?
Right now the answer is no. I don’t ever want to risk that again. Not only for my own sake, but for Mark’s and Amy’s and everyone else that would have to help me.
We have agreed to see how we feel later. Part of me doesn’t want to change my mind — I don’t want to forget how horrible PPD was. Part of me reminds me that I did survive.
3. What’s you best guilty pleasure?
Really tasty desserts are one. Best ever was this fabulous almond gratin at a gig I played last year. A square of almond cake that is so creamy and rich it’s almost a pudding. Topped with a wonderful custardy sauce and heaped with fresh berries. Mmmm…
A long steamy shower is another.
4. What led you to play the hammered dulcimer? (if I’m spelling that right)
This one’s easy: I heard and saw someone else play one! Such a captivating sound, and so interesting to watch. It took a while before I was certain enough and able enough to save the money to get one.
5. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Oh, how to pick? Lol.
How about resorting to ridicule? I hate it when people can’t be bothered to actually discuss something; when instead they just call names and point fingers, and when their criticism shows they didn’t even try to understand the point of view they’re criticizing. Even if you really think someone else’s belief or opinion or behavior or whatever is laughable or unworthy of attention, it just seems to me you ought to speak about it with respect for the person’s dignity as a human being.
Some others… when people (especially businesses) don’t answer emails or calls or give straight answers… when people don’t bother to proofread even though the tools are so accessible… when people equate cultural things with religious truth (if you don’t have a Jesus fish on your car, you’re not a Christian… if you’re not a Republican, you’re not a Christian… if you drive a car or use phones or electricity or wear modern clothes you’re not a Christian…)… when people can’t talk frankly about things that impact their relationships… when people negate themselves in order to not cause others pain… when people elevate themselves and have no consideration for others… when reality shows and commercials try to make you think everything is the biggest thing ever… when people don’t listen and remember and pay attention… when I come face to face with my weaknesses and sins and failures…
I think I like your answer to question number one quite a bit. There is individuality in Christianity but also connection. I really like the way you put that.
A long time ago I was ready a scripture that said something to the effect of, “we have trust that our Lord Jesus Christ…..” It was the Apostle Paul speaking. I stopped and said, “WE trust?” I actually said aloud, “WE trust?” That’s when I realized my trust issues went deeper than mere humans. However, last week when that whole mouse fiasco took place I actually prayed Marcy. I actually prayed. I was doubled over in tears. I could feel myself loosing it big time so I prayed. And it’s been a very long time since his name has come off my lips that particular way. It felt good. I miss it. I really do. A calm came over me. I got some peace, enough to not harm myself that night. Later in therapy MacBlue asked me what I did to get my head together. I told him I prayed. He asked what I prayed for. I said for the flashbacks to stop. He said, “Have they?” I said “No.” But you know what? It doesn’t mean they won’t. I got part of what I needed that night. I needed peace at that moment, enough to keep myself alive and I got that. I trust, and I do mean trust, that when I need to call out in prayer I can. It took a very long time to be able to read the scripture that says “we trust” and not flinch.
(I’m about to do a journal entry about trust in general with this comment included.)
Austin
Comment by Austin — August 25, 2007 @ 9:44 am
on PPD
Valid fear you have there, a very valid one. I’d be scared as well.
Reality TV
when reality shows and commercials try to make you think everything is the biggest thing ever…
Yeah but I’m soooo gonna be on Surviver China!
Reflection
when I come face to face with my weaknesses and sins and failures…
Sometimes what we see in the mirror is not an accurate reflection. What we see as a weakness as a failure may be associated with what someone told us is weak and failing. Like beauty, weakness and failure is in the eyes of the beholder.
Austin
Comment by Austin — August 25, 2007 @ 9:49 am
I dreamed I was on American Idol last night. Oh my!
Yes, sometimes the mirror is distorted. But while some sins and failures are almost inevitable given our history and tendencies, some are willful, and some are just plain and simple imperfection. The good news is that my favor with God doesn’t depend on my overcoming my own sins, no matter what their motivation — Jesus took my sins and gave me his righteousness in exchange.
Trusting God is soooooo tough. I wrote a song called Jesus my Advocate about it. You know how in Romans it says if God is for us, who can be against us, and how could anyone accuse us when Jesus stands as our advocate in heaven? So when I fear that God might just be a smooth-talker who enjoys tormenting those who serve him, I remember the Cross and that Jesus is my advocate — no matter what is going on, I can trust that he isn’t tormenting me. Maybe I should post that song and write about writing it.
Comment by Marcy — August 25, 2007 @ 3:57 pm