Day four

Once again, this week I have volunteers from church and the dulcimer circle coming over to help me with Amy. I do not yet trust myself to be alone with her for a whole day, not when I still can’t predict when I’ll get hit with a wave of depression, anxiety, aversion, or all three.

Today has been mixed. Amy has enjoyed herself on her play mat, in her swing, and in her bouncy seat. She’s been cuddled (awake and asleep), changed and fed, laid to sleep in her basket. She’s stared and smiled and almost laughed and cried and yelled and burped and other things. Lunch (which Sherj brought) has been eaten. Dishes have been done. A harp has been played. A book’s being read. A cardigan’s being knitted.

Some of it has been me, and some of it has been Sherj.

My earlier post was hard to write, and has left me somewhat depleted and low today. I’m managing, but am not very motivated. I feel like I am just passing time. Yesterday was like that, too.

Sherj will be here until about 5:30, which allows Mark a fuller day of work.

Have I mentioned that folks have been bringing us dinners? Thanks to all of them. It is wonderful to be taken care of in all these ways.