Sherj came over yesterday to spend the day and the night with Amy and sent us out of the house.
We went to Binghamton where we bought a mobile at Babies R Us to hang on the changing table, hoping it will give Amy something more interesting to consider than the fact that she’s being changed, which she usually hates.
We also wandered around the mall. For whatever reason, I felt rather faint and light-headed — maybe a side effect of the Zoloft plus not having eaten much or had much to drink yesterday, plus crying a LOT in the morning with what seemed to me a very fussy Amy.
We had an early dinner at the Olive Garden, then came back home to check on things and get our overnight bags. Sherj was having a great time with Amy, and found her very easy. I’m sure Amy was the same with Sherj as with us, and Sherj just handles it better than I do. She also only had to do a day and a night with her, coming in well-rested and fed, too.
Keith and Marty offered all three of us their home for the night, and it was nice to hang out with them a bit before going to bed.
I had a small panic attack at bedtime, but Marty helped me get through it. And it was nice to be with Mark.
Keith and Marty sent us off with a really nice breakfast, and now we’re back home.
Mom P is convinced that Amy has smiled a few times. I’m not yet convinced but it sure looks cute.
I am still full of fear, and quick to feel defeated, inadequate, and frustrated with myself. Therapy, Zoloft, and continued interaction with Amy should help — and I trust God to continue carrying us all.
What a wonderful gift for you all!
Comment by Rick — December 12, 2006 @ 1:16 pm
I’m glad you got some relaxation time with Mark… I know you’ll pull through alright even though it’s hard right now. It’s really encouraging to be able to trust in something (someONE rather) bigger than yourself…
I just had a theological discussion with a good friend of mine down the hall (probably one of the closest I’ve made this semester), and it’s so hard to see her struggling with why I believe what I do and whatnot. It’s hard to explain, but I can relate to your “I am still full of fear, and quick to feel defeated, inadequate, and frustrated with myself” statement. I feel like I can’t convey any of the answers about our faith or when I do, they might make sense to me but aren’t logical to her. I need reassurance that a) what I believe is real beyond the shadow of a doubt and b) her salvation is in the hands of Christ and not mine.
Thinking of and praying for you!
Comment by Elizabeth — December 13, 2006 @ 2:52 am
Lord, give Elizabeth that reassurance of a and b, and patience and trust, and may she and her friend continue to enjoy their friendship as well as the occasional theological discussion.
And Elizabeth, thanks for praying for me!
Comment by Marcy — December 13, 2006 @ 9:22 am
Hello again Marcy!
You wrote: “Sherj was having a great time with Amy, and found her very easy. I’m sure Amy was the same with Sherj as with us, and Sherj just handles it better than I do. She also only had to do a day and a night with her, coming in well-rested and fed, too.” I wouldn’t be so sure that Amy IS the same with Sherj. As parents, and especially as brand-new parents, your connection to Amy is more intense than anyone else’s. Amy picks up on that, too, so she may calm more easily for someone else — especially, as you noted, for someone who is rested and fresh. I remember when my mother was with us after the birth of our first child. I was amazed, awed, and somewhat frustrated that she was so much better at calming the baby than we, his parents, were. She explained to me that it’s sometimes easier for someone other than the parent to calm the baby, because of that intense parent-child connection.
I think most of find that, as children grow older, there are lots of times when their behavior is worst at home with the parents. I try to see that as a good thing — that the kids feel secure enough to let it all hang out at home, but that we’ve succeeded in teaching them enough manners that they suppress some of their worst impulses when with non-family members.
Keep hanging in there!
Comment by Sarah — December 13, 2006 @ 6:27 pm
Sarah,
That makes sense. I think Brazleton mentioned something about that in Touchpoints, too — that at day care kids will often be calm and relatively easy, only to burst into a fit when the parent comes to get them — saving all their energy and intensity and feelings to give to the parent.
Comment by Marcy — December 14, 2006 @ 12:26 pm